What we do can create a beautiful life full of meaning
or a desperate life full of suffering
Jon Frederickson

People change when they are ready to take responibility for their life,
their decision, their behaviour. They just decide to become different.
Jeffrey Kottler

The only strenght life demands from you is the one you already have.
There is only one feat: not escape.
Dag Hammarskjold

If you don't love, your life will pass you by unnoticed
Terrence Malick

My development only depends on what I choose and what I reject in life.
The seeds of my future life are in me.
Liv Ullman

I hope to understand other people, other languages, other sorrows
Zbigniew Herbert

We suffer because we resist reality
Siddhartha

Psychotherapy

Psychodynamic psychotherapy

 

Psychodynamic psychotherapy is a form of treatment. It focuses on building a safe relationship, defining and liberating repressed emotions, and teaching how to cope with them. It makes individuals happier and more conscious. Psychodynamic psychotherapy focuses on internal conflicts hindering our growth and relating skills, giving symptoms, including somatic, and being a pain area.

 

When to ask a therapist for help?

 

  • when our problems are chronic, i.e. our relationship patterns are harmful and repetitive,
  • when we suffer because of our problems,
  • when we have vegetative symptoms: sleep disorders, compulsive eating or no appetite without any somatic reasons,
  • when we are often anxious, i.e. a general feeling of tension with symptoms,
  • when we consciously follow destructive patterns with no intention to stop,
  • when our relationships are few, scarce, limited or conflicted,
  • when we are rarely happy, feel constantly tense, blue, or overwhelmed.

 

Psychotherapy - facts or fiction

 

A therapist gives advice by telling their patients what to do with their life.


Psychotherapy shouldn't be confused with counselling. They are different and even almost opposite. The agreement between a coach and a client involves the resolution of a given problem through the suggestion of specific solutions. That between a therapist and a patient involves a better understanding of the latter's difficulties. The therapist remains neutral and only helps the patient to understand their problems and not to make decisions. Giving advice to the patient during therapy would undermine their own ability to cope with difficulties and to decide for themselves.

Everyone should see a therapist because the only way to make a real change in one's life is through therapy.


This stereotype stems from American movies where extremely rich and bored with everything housewives meet with their therapists, preferably analysts, in between a beauty treatment and a game of golf. Fortunately, not everyone needs a therapist. Growth is a natural process and it mainly results from natural life crises and our efforts to cope with them. We manage to cope in most situations, sometimes with the help of our dear ones, but without professional help. Therapy may come in useful to understand a crisis and learn how to use it for the better. However, it is still a treatment and treatments are always invasive in a way or another, and therefore should only be administered when really needed.

Adults should always be able to cope with their problems on their own and not talk about them to therapists.


Knowing when to ask for professional help is also a way of coping. It is only natural to first try to solve our problems on our own or with the help of close family or friends, and that usually does the trick. That is how we cope with most of difficult situations. Recurrent problems causing prolonged distress that we cannot solve on our own require therapy.

Psychotherapy is just having a conversation - why should it help?


The exchange between a therapist and a patient during therapy may seem nothing more than a plain conversation, however its purpose is different and the therapist uses specific tools. Therapy is not just conversation; it is also a unique relationship built between the therapist and the patient. It is different from all the other relationships in life as it is built for therapeutic purposes. It is asymmetrical - the therapist normally knows a lot about the patient, however the patient does not know much about the therapist. Therapy focuses on the patient's problems, whereas a 'regular' relationship usually is a two-way street.

Mental health

Abstraction - the world seen through the small hole

An individual is considered mentally healthy not when they do not present any disease symptoms, but when they are able to explore their potential. Sometimes, in spite of objective symptoms of a somatic or mental disease, an individual can be subjectively happy and accept themselves. And sometimes, they can be unhappy and suffer without any tangible symptoms.
This positive definition of mental health states that growth is good as long as it follows the individual's authentic needs, desires, dreams, and emotions, at a safe distance from internal and external destructive orders and duties. It is only by paying close attention to oneself that one can reach their full potential, leading to health and happiness. We become whom we potentially are by exploring our potential, by developing our talents, our abilities, and our qualities.
However our natural growth path may be full of different obstacles - single traumatic experiences or long/existing destructive behavioural patterns, that we see as children, then learn from adults, and then, most often unconsciously, repeat when we grow up.
This leads to mental blocks, including one against emotions, which is as if one was living behind a wall that separated them form themselves. Only once the resistance is down, happiness and fulfilment are an option.
An individual who overcomes those obstacles within themselves starts on the path of self-acceptance, looks at their past history with calm, enjoys their present, and looks out to the future full of hope.

A healthy individual has hobbies, is not afraid of challenges, makes decision, and is accountable for them. They expect to be successful and know how to enjoy it. They accept failure. They build authentic friendly relationships based on reciprocity and trust, because they see the world as a rather friendly place, full of new opportunities. They like people, know how to care about them, and doing good gives them a sense of purpose.
Freud, the father of psychology, defined it in the best and simplest way as an 'aptitude to work and love'.